He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
