He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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