only if we run a train.
done.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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