i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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