He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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