Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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