That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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