I think my vagina is haunted
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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