Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I forget how to act sober
Randomize