she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
