The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
