i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
