Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
