I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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