Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
