i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize