So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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