and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
