you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
