Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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