Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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