Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
