Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
