At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize