I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
