I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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