You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You can't special order awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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