So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Drunk is not a location!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
