I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
