were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
