youre lurking in front of me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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