Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize