..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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