dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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