i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
