id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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