i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
All I want is dick and wine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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