i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
