Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize