you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
