found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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