like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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