Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
