I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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