So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
