Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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