....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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