he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
