I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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