very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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