I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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