How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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