$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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