people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
