if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
