i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
