just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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