JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
