Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
