Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
