I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
