You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
